BASEBALL OFFSEASON CHATTER

whats cookin on the hot stove bros?

jk still don't ever want to watch baseball again.
I hear robot fremkins is available
501st Zaxby's
thoughts on last night's liveblog:

1. how had i never seen the actual budweiser wassup commercial before?
2. why did nobody laugh at or acknowledge my t. squares visual joke?
3.
you know jopy I just realized how funny that t. squares visual joke was last ni
4. is this how buffalo bills fans felt back in the 90s
Can I add last nights live blog to my all time favorites list? There's still 2 1/2 days of Omgtober left right?
BRUTON yes
"Can I add last nights live blog to my all time favorites list?" --The Ghost of Stan Musial
fuck you guys
phils sign papelbon to a 4 year contract

maybe it's just me but i can't imagine they'll be feeling great about this in 2015
Or 2013.
or 2012
PROBABLY ALL 3. SORRY ABOUT THE ALL CA
new marlins uniforms:



people are going to make a lot of fun of these, and they are not very good, but honestly i think they are an improvement over the existing marlins uniforms which i have always thought are godawful. really though they look like a fake uniform for a baseball team in a 90s movie.

the logo would be so much better without the weird marlin stuck in there as an afterthought. it's like they combined two completely different concepts.
COCAINE
shit is flyami god
The new cleats are weird
FLYAMI
so are they the miami marlins now or am i missing something? this would be like the rangers wearing shirts that said arlington.
looks like the astros are moving to the AL West in 2013 where they should be just as good if not worse.

link
this is going to take some getting used to
AGAINST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck houston
brian i deleted like 90% of those exclamation marks so it wouldn't break the site sorry buddy
but you should be happy about this, now the rangers get to play a bunch of games against a really shitty team
every other team in the AL can relax in 2013 as they no longer have a chance of being the worst team. ever.
Verlander MVP gotems
bud norris is gonna shut down the al west dudes
bobby valentine manging the red sox? this isn't going to end well.
hey, he was only fired by George Bush, how bad can he be?
holy shit Bobby V's is still around

when i was little and lived in arlington this was my favorite restaurant, i sued to beg my parents to take me there. i always hoped we would see bobby there but we never did.
did you win the case jopy
yes the court granted me the right to beg my parents to take me to BOBBY V's. my parents declined to take me th
also it's impossible to google image search for pictures of BOBBY V's in the 80s now because of this guy:

it's cool guys i found one:

I hear this is Bobby V's new hangout
Can I get a MAYESTINI with extra pure gasoline and hot sauce, please?
genuine class
oline
est 1867 MAYES you old bro
that's military time for 6:67
BREAKING NEWS GUYS
holy shit pujols on the angels

brian's not gonna like this
at least we don't have to worry about the cardinals winning the world series again anytime soon
does this mean i have to be an angels fan now? are they going to kill mark trumbo or what?
side note: mark trumbo teased (and probably had a crush on) my girlfriend in elementary school, so i'm tired of seeing him hit home runs on sportscenter all the time.
squares mark trumbo is 5 years younger than you and grew up in southern california
exactly.
sorry squares for some reason I read that as if you, mark trumbo and your elementary school girlfriend all went to school together in Houston.
PS robbing the cradle bro
what happens in houston stays in houston bro
this just in... ryan braun is a dildo.
AGAINST IT!!!!!!!
brian, yu should be pretty happy about this.
yeah i haven't really processed how i feel about this just yet. it's a lot of money on a posting fee, and almost assuredly a lot more money to actually sign the guy, and that seems like a really big gamble. i mean i get that he's young and has incredible stuff, but i think it's far from a sure thing. plus, asian pitchers in texas don't seem to have a great track record for whatever reason.

i just hope this works out and we don't end up buried under this contract for years to come.
i dunno, brian, i personally witnessed hideo nomo pitch two scoreless inning in the 1995 all star game in arlington. he struck out 3 while only giving up one hit. if you project those stats across a full season, darvish is looking like an early cy young lock!
was that comment really about hideo nomo, or was it about telling everyone you went to the 1995 all star game?
yu see right through me
yu gi oh shit
P.S. all i really remember about the all-star game is that we sat next to this country singer named neal mccoy. i had no idea who he was but people kept coming over to ask for his autograph. he gave me $20 to go get him a hot dog and i was expecting him to let me keep the change but he wanted it back. in hindsight he was sitting in our shitty seats in the outfield so he probably didn't have a lot of cash to throw around.
he's gonna see that and it's gonna be a BLAST from his PAST
BAT

Do you still have the screenshot where we said Tyler Hansbrough was "known colloquially as a corn-eating bastard"?
rangers got yu brian
Joey, Hudson keeps asking me when the draft is?
how do yu kill a m

Yu!
Joey can I draft Jonathan Herrera yet?


RELEVANT
dear god i am so ready for baseball to start. the time between the superbowl and spring training feels like the longest most miserable stretch of time all year.

this year: i'm in for omgtrupro
YES
um guys not sure if you've heard of it but I've got a wicked case of march madness I've been taking march paxil
Are you experiencing any March fatigue, March drymouth, or March lack of sex drive?
please consult a physician if your erection lasts longer than the month of mar
that picture is next michael jordan (of baseball)
i like that
So this has become required reading for me as I prepare for the draft. And just so I'm clear, it's called a 'hitting stick', right?
There's this required reading too.
totally drafting giancarlo stanton. everyone knows name changes boost stats.
joey's not going to like this
it is kind of weird to show a video of a violent fistfight before every home game
i gotta get the fantasy leagues together dudes
i'm ON IT
i'd be happy to win at something i don't know much about.

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