hey i don't know if you noticed but at the bottom of every page there's a quote! if you have a hilarious quote, just post it here and i will ADD IT.

"oh shit... look at them, they're running on foot. they picked the car up, they're on some flintstones shit."

i still stand by:

"Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Go, balloons … What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down. All balloons! Why the hell is nothing falling? What the fuck are you guys doing up there?"

that one's in there dude

finally.

"Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge. "

"Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school. "

"Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics."

"Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal. "

"They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

"Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first."

"There goes my gun. Run out and get that like a good girl."

"Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women!"

some good mike tyson quotes:

“He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."

"Hey, hey, hey. Who the heck ordered the blood shake? Hey, Ray, it's not Skip. It's Art. I'm just pretending to be Skip. Say, you didn't happen to see an ice pick around here, did you?"

"You gotta goose these people every once in a while. You gotta give them a little shot, give them a little whack, let them know that you're there."

"We asked someone to check on this and have never heard back except for sales pitches and offers. Like the wizard says to the barbarians standing shamefully in front of the ruins of a smoldering city: "Dang it, for the last time, its pillage THEN burn!""

"SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA MAKE THE cats"

"they're winning the footballs on the last play"

"that last quote was taken out of context."

"I've been at this high school for seven years. I'm no dummy."
--Better Off Dead

AND

"We should get a bread machine and make some good butter."
--Paul, drunk last week.

how was they're winning the footballs taken out of context?

oh, that was a quote from "the paper."

to be fair, you did include the context.

"Oh No-- THE CORN! Paul Newman's gonna have m'legs broke."

"I couldn't do that. Could you do that? Why can they do it? Who are those guys? "

"I lie awake, contemplating how to do things better. How to be more efficient. How to get into Trader Joes, grab my things, and get out as fast as I can."

"Would you like to groove to my hacky-sack vibe?"

NEW QUOTES LOADED

i could totally tell where those last two quotes came from, squares

how?

TWIN ESP

i just watched the first season of kids in the hall.

sounds like TWIN ESP

i just watched the first season of kids in the hall.

i just watched the first season of kids in the hall.

whoa.

i just watched the first season of kidz in the hall.

good cd they put out

i just watched the first season of running the halls.

"Why are my bones so brittle? I always drink plenty of-- MALK?!"

lol ur imgs suck jerff.

MORE QUOTES

HERE'S A QUOTE:
"HEY JOEY WANNA FIGHT TO THE DEATH IN THE STREET"

Actually, "lol ur images suck jerff" would be good.

also:
"Everything you are doing is bad. I want you to know this."

"they'll never catch me. because i'm fucking innocent. "

"i have to shoot you. now, since we might be legally related someday, i'll give you the option of taking it on the backside. won't hurt as bad."

"the global business climate is like... whatever, dude. "

"check to see if there's godiva chocolates nearby. if there are, then yes, we're in heaven."

that's ren and stimpy. they're way existential.

hey, in some parts of the universe, maybe not in contempo-casual, but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.

"set to music, potty humor is my #1 and #2 favorite thing."

- host, america's funniest home videos

"yeah some shit goes here"

any of the advice wilson gives to tim on home improvement.

and everything tim says when he tries to repeat it.

"i saved latin. what did you ever do?"

and i second anthony's bottle rocket quote, btw.

third it!

brian loves bottle rocket. i remember he almost shat himself when we watched it on patrick's projector.

almost?

i second my quote from dutch.

i think chevy chase gets better with age, like a fine wino.

ed o' neil. you're thinking of a chevy chase movie.

also, was that from that chevy chase roast?

how do you roast someone who's already so well done?

lol

Murray took a shot at Chase's reported marital problems, Newman quoting Murray as saying, "Why don't you fuck your wife once in awhile? She needs it."

wait, THAT GUY is having lady problems?

speaking of lady problems, are they EVER going to film Fletch Won starring Jason Lee?

omg i checked imdb and jason lee has been dropped from the project. its supposed to star zach braff now *barfs*

*braffs*

PUT ON THIS DISGUISE, IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

i almost forgot one of my favoritest quotes...

"i'm just like these fetuses, chuck. i wasn't born yesterday either."

"No, Donnie Wahlberg doesn't reprise his role as Det. Matthews from Saw 2 & 3. He's playing a different character, Det. Lipton. "

brians's quote hurt my feelings, then made me laugh a little. and then anthony's made me want to see saw 2-4.

lol at see-saw 2-4. :)

Tina Fey:
"I hear Aaron Sorkin is in Los Angeles wearing the same dress - but longer, and not funny."

RE:(1&2)Cartman probobly tried to help Kenny, but when he found out that Kenny had died he needed somthing to do with all the fetuses and didn't want people to think that he was a wimp so he the the pizza place. (edit)

lol

"Sing Like Yamin It!

But I don’t like conflict. I would way rather if the world was filled with people who were fucking cool. I would rather not have guys like Carlos Mencia that, when I’m on-stage and he’s in the back of the room, I have to worry about this motherfucker doing my shit on TV.

"My best friend SASHA's dad was CARL SAGAN, the astronomer. He was the biggest pot smoker in the world and he was a genius."

"pancake, front to back, side to side and all that shit"

"Cause, I'm lonely. I have trouble in my life."

i have been michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. we're like one of those classic famous teams. he's like mozart, and i'm like mozart's friend. no, i'm like butch cassidy and michael is like mozart. you try and hurt mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of butch cassidy.

"Amy Winehouse is in the soul section? That's funny... I happen to know that anyone that likes her is soulless."

"If you take everything I've done in my entire life, and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!"

"In five years... I wanna be five years sober... four and a half..."

"I'm Chevy Chase and you're not."

"Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball, Danny."

"You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia."

"They left me with a cold. I probably have worms, too. Excuse me, Fluffy to the rescue."

"I don't like being cute. I don't like being fluffy. And I want some friggin' hands."

"You're very pretty, with or without clevage. Would you like to take a shower?"

"That's right, honey. You've attacked an innocent dwarf."

"Do you know what smoking does to you? It stunts your growth, it yellows your teeth and blackens your lungs. Is that what you want? To be a yellow toothed midget with lung cancer?"

"Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes... or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?"

"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"

"Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo."

"life is not that dog's dream."

"you wanna know who i want to get pregnant? felicity huffman. ever since i saw transamerica, i can't get her out of my head. "

"hey, let's get some beer. i'll bet you there's some beer up there. let's just go get it, and wait up there."

wait is anthony judd apatow?

if this is really judd ashley can i pleaase be in one of your mouvies?

jamiekennedy
member for: 7 months and 3 weeks

ugh

"jokes pertaining to stiles' shoes on whose line is it anyway? are quite common."

"band of brothers. you should rent it sometime."

"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."

--- Marion Barry

"What I used to able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life."

"Nice apartment. It has really high ceilings, or I dunno, really low floors. I can't tell"

"Yeah... I had foot-rot. Yeah, in both feet. I.. I had, feet-rot."

"i ain't got my taco."

“the important thing was that nobody got hurt and nobody was embarrassed, not the chinese, and not baseball.”

"we have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it."

"Auto Insurance: Do I need one?"

"i'm happy for him," abreu said. "i'll have to send him a check."

"Glue some (clean) garbage all over a sweat suit. Go as a trash heap."

"TRICK LUH DA ORANGE DRANK"

"I had a nervous breakdown last night. I couldn't walk up the stairs."

"No results for it's like you know"

"Here's Mia Hamm. In the box. The shot, goal! She's got the record."

"hey you guys like soft drinks?"

"why not? it don't cost nothin."
- jarf

"The fish was so strange in morphology that it did not fit into any taxonomic category that we were aware of," Schaefer said. "But it looked like it was run over by a truck. We needed better specimens."

The squirrel attack was rated "moderate" on a scale of "insignificant" to "catastrophic"

I wander where the nearest Subway is.

Seinfeld was nominated for the same award every year for the rest of its run but would keep losing to Frasier.

The pics are trying to be the next "Garden State," a 2004 film that, like other hipster pics, can be generally defined as trafficking in moody music, casual style and characters who are disaffected.

Hey that's how my lifestyle can be generally defined as w

"when did you turn so completely against rick fox?"

"did yew see that new direct tv promo?"
"yeah, shaq will do anything for money..."

"david wright here to tell you about g-force, the most fun you'll have at the movies all summer."

"Ben Roethlisberger has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty."

Mermaids have long held fascination for seafaring peoples. There are a few dozen significant historical claims of actual mermaid sightings. Most of them are clearly myths and legends, such as "true" stories about lovely young women who married sailors but were later discovered to be shape-shifting mermaids (such as in the film "Splash").

"Strike fear into the heart of your opponent with some strategic smack talk!"

"i�m anthony from hollywood, california. how are you?"

"slow cooker meat load"

"this isn't so bad. it's like watching a porno. except: i can't see anything, i don't have a hard-on... and i want to cry."

"Nature and music collided. It was cool. I was there."

"Willow HAD to be a movie"

"It was exciting, but it seemed a little silly, after all — a cooler that somebody left there," said psychiatrist Thor Bergersen, of Newton, Mass., who watched the drama from the eighth floor of the Marriott Marquis hotel.