joey: paul i'm thinking about retiring the IM highlights thread and starting a new one
joey: what do you think
paul: ehh, i don't really see the need

me: Jarf no like IM Highlights 2
Palubat: we now know, more than ever
that JOPY badman
me: Yes, Jopy BADMAN
Palubat: i fear for the MAYES
me: MAYES isn't gonna like this.

Palubat: i know nothing good will come of this
can he be handcuffed at least
me: yes
me: so you'll go?
Palubat: yeah if he's handcuffed
me: GROSS HE'S ENTERING MURS' CAVE
Palubat: sure is slimy in here
me: sound of car speeding off
Palubat: odamn

two step flow: you deem geese ignoble?
two step flow: maybe the cape barren goose
two step flow: but a canada goose is hellafied noble

paul: joey what if told you i could get you a personal meet and greet with WILL.I.AM
paul disconnected

Palubat: why are you pulling that out of your butt in a syringe
me: THIS PRESS CONFERENCE IS OVER

two step flow: would you have lunch at pf changs with plies
Jon Mayes: who's paying
two step flow: him
Jon Mayes: yes
two step flow: he's extremely self conscious
Jon Mayes: i'll walk him through the menu
two step flow: seems to have never seen a napkin before
Jon Mayes: get real loose on sake
two step flow: yep he's crying now
two step flow: wow
Jon Mayes: check please
two step flow: he's waving the waiters away

RYNAD: only hope is that Kevin Durant will sho up at my apt and start draining dirty clothes into my hamper
me: oh man
he'd drop 200 on you
RYNAD: easy
me: but that one time you block the pants from getting in the hamper? Greatest day of your life.
RYNAD: I'd be all like "GET THAT DENIM OUT OF HERE GET THAT DENIM OUT OF HERE"
bunch of back dudes in my room with their mouths covered going "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH"
*black
me: I imagined back dudes, now there's nothingness.

me: buttsuction.net
NAIR: totally safe for work
me: is that a thing

NAIR: welp just found my dream job
what is this supposed to accomplish exactly
me: byutts

randysterling: whats good
me: oh you know
loading up this ammo to explode it on a camel and his soldiers
just had a cream soda
it sucked

me: gross what is he doing
get away from him randy
randy why aren't you getting away from him
GROSS HE'S JACKING MAX B OFF

me: paul
Palubat: hi
me: I want to tell you something
but you can't tell anyone else
Palubat: ok
me: MY MONEY LONG LIKE SLEEVES
Palubat: i told randy
me: ffffff
Palubat: (he was going to the bathroom)
me: fffffff

burton: 500 green ball sacks please
me: boy if only i had a dollar for every time that phrase crossed my lips

whatsupjoey: no thanks i have responsibilities at home paul
two step flow: oh don't worry joey
two step flow: the DUNGEON FAMILY have kindly offered to see over things at home during your trip
two step flow: joey big ghipp can't seem to find the paper towels can you tell him wh
whatsupjoey: paul what is big gipp doing with my food processor
two step flow: lol

me: Oh yeah, I'm all sadded up.
I'm on my nothing means anything grind.
I am not a bird.
Tedd: I am not a football team.
me: I am not a falling leaf.
I am not a remote control.
Tedd: Everything I do is not art.
me: Give me the cheetos and I will eat them.

burton: he literally made wine out of acorns from his yard

Palubat: : L
me: how is it?
Palubat: it's terrible
me: FREAK U
I got my degree in social engineering online at FREAK U
Palubat: i got my wisdom teeth extracted at FREAKNIK
me: that woman won't no dentist but DAT AZZ

from last week:

brian: i may not be able to liveblog the world series, but there may be other things i can liveblog
me: liveblog the layoffs at your company
brian: jesus

me: that's as much as you can ask for from dream luda
Palubat: yeah tru

brian: this chat isn't going on the tru is it?
me: do you not want people to know your parents died on 9/11?
brian: yeah i'd rather keep that under wraps

two step flow: moonday
two step flow: night
two step flow: flotbals
Jon Mayes: oboy
two step flow: ARE YOU R
two step flow: RR
two step flow: RRRRRR
Jon Mayes: andy
two step flow: ARE YOU RRR R RR
two step flow: R RR
two step flow: RR
Jon Mayes: he's flooded again
two step flow: pump the ass
two step flow: gas
two step flow: gas
two step flow: i meant to say g
Jon Mayes: :(

bigteef100: it would be an interesting choice to have to make
two step flow: if you expect me to eat that throbbing, neon-underlit sphere of meat rising from the steel vat, you're out of your mind

Kris: did you know milk comes from eyeballs
me: even breastmilk?
wait, what?
Kris: yes all milk
we're changing it
me: let's do it
I'm all eyes on this one
Kris: I took out an ad on FM radio
gonna run during Casey Kasem
me: frequency modulation, I like it
that Kasem is going places
Kris: i'll shoot you some choice lines
me: he's the voice of the transformers generation
Kris: *** represents a really loud goose honking noise that I dropped two octaves using a guitar pedal
*

*

*

Narrator: HEY MILK

**

*

Narrator: COMES OUT OF EYEBALLS NOW

*

EVEN THE BOOB ONE AND THE COW ONES AND WE ALSO INVENTED A FROG ONE

**

that's it

me: GOATS GOATS GOATS
we need a website to shout
otherwise, that's perfect

like

*
CHECK US OUT AT MILK COMES FROM EYEBALLS DOT NET

Kris: TEXT "MILK SECRET" TO 555 FOR THE SECRET ON HOW WE DID IT. OK, I'LL JUST TELL YOU. WE KILLED TONY MEOLA.

me: *

Randy: is there any place for me on this earth
(looks up at sky)
me: man, courtney cox's character in masters of the universe was stupid to think that was her real mom and she just gave her the damned machine?
oman it was actually evil-lyn

3:40 AM
Kris: Just had a fucking virtuoso cabbie performance
Made it known early on that he didn't trade in small talk.
Let his abilities a professional driver of humans trade in... BIG TALK
One man automotive pick and rolls. The driver was Stockton, but his insatiable driver DNA was Malone
Then I fell into a timewarp where people were fish and I couldn't figure out whose house this is or why we ever thought the internet was a good idea.
Gimme a book deal.

paul: i was just thinking about the dennis the menace theme music the other day
paul: and thinking i should learn it on the saxophone

me: be strong randy
me: like a rock...
me: WHOAAAAA LIKE A ROCK
me: remember that song
Randy: lol

me: I'm getting brains right now.
From a girl.
Randy: is her name paul
me: ina
paulina
she's got long black hair
and beautiful wings
sobs violently